I know exactly why I went for this word. I could talk for ages on all the other suggested prompts, but they would probably be saying much of what I have already said on here.
This word is different. It speaks volumes about me and how I spend a lot of my time feeling. It is quite a large step for me to write this down. But I am going to give it a go.
I have uncertainty in many things, some more and some less. But I think that the biggest uncertainty is my working life. I fell into my job. I am a teacher. I come from a family of teachers. I got told as a teenager that I would become one, so obviously I rebelled against this. Until it finally dawned on me that I had no escape.
And actually, it was a good move. I was, am, good at it. I care. That means a lot. I have done the job for a long time now (it feels it when I am tired and full cold like I am today). I have had some wonderful, amazing moments, worked with some wonderful, amazing children and colleagues. I am privileged that I get to see some fantastic creative things my students create (I teach a creative subject). I love being able to develop their skills, their understanding, their self-esteem, and their joy when it goes right!
But I am uncertain.
Believe it or not, I am uncertain whether I am doing the right thing any more. I have contemplated lots of things to do. And most of them boil back down to the same thing – teaching, in one form or another. So I think I am stuck with being a teacher, but do I want to stay doing the job I do, or do I want to change phase for a new challenge? Do I want to come out of schools and do a consultancy-type job where I work with schools but remain independent? Would I prefer to work with pre-schoolers on basic key skills?
I am uncertain. Friends try to persuade me to use my baking or sewing interests as a job, but there isn’t enough security in it yet as I have such a young family. May be in the future…
So for now, I remain uncertain. What do I do? Whatever I do, I will give my all, because I care about what happens to those I teach and nuture. I just wish the uncertainty would resolve sooner rather than later.